I briefly knew a woman who turned up her nose at the word “feminist,” as if its very sound was offensive.
I couldn’t understand her viewpoint, especially because it was clear she had had a hard life, including an abusive father.
I’ve come round to thinking she looks at feminism as something only the privileged can spend their time and energy on. Meanwhile, she needs to put food on the table.
Based on the number of searches through its database, Merriam-Webster has declared feminism to be its word for 2017. Literally, at least, it has come to the forefront thanks in part to the backlash to the election of Donald Trump and an outbreak of revelations of sexual harassment by powerful men.
It’s a shame positive change such as equal pay and gender parity in the workplace weren’t what put the word on the radar.
The fight for women’s rights has many fronts. Civic rights include the right to vote (1920 through the 19th Amendment) and the right to work for equal pay through the Equal Rights Act (still waiting on that one.) Other rights for women concern their own bodies in terms of access to birth control, the fight for abortion rights, and activism around sexual abuse.
In both realms, women are still struggling. Equal pay for equal work still lags for women, and we’ve never entirely attained autonomy over our bodies. Men predominately call the shots in most workplaces and in making laws.
Many interpret feminism as anti-male. It’s not men that women hate, but the privileges of which some take advantage. We are about dismantling the systems that create inequality.
SO HOW do we progress?
All behaviors are learned. And I like to think that with each new generation we are learning to become a more civil and respective society.
I was heartened by the voter turnout in the recent election in Alabama. The young vote — those under 44 — and the votes by minorities were what put Doug Jones, a Democrat, over Roy Moore, a longtime Republican with a record of racism and misogyny.
We need to teach our youth not only how to respect each other, but also how to be assertive. Young women and men need to feel emboldened to speak out when something makes them feel uncomfortable. Silence is deadly when it comes to fighting sexual abuse. Minimizing the act only helps to foster it.
When I think back to the woman who sneered at feminism, I sensed a lack of self-respect. My guess is she’d never known respect — was never taught it and had never received it — to realize how valuable it is to a society.
Feminists don’t hate men; just those who project privilege
